Family Pic Nov 2015

Family Pic Nov 2015

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fourth visit....some videos to watch!!

Today we had both kids at the same time again.  We go to Julia's building and they bring her out to us and then someone brings Aaron over from his building about 15 minutes later.  Julia was again visibly happy to see us.  She was receptive to us gently stroking her cheeks, jaw line and neck as she arched backwards.  Her eyes still flinch/flutter whenever our hands move towards her, but she relaxes quickly as she enjoys the sensations.  It is so heartwarming to watch her learn to enjoy gentle contact with us.  We did some more snuggling and nuzzling  today and continued to get smiles.  She loves the toys we bring her.  She has a distinct preference to the toys she can grab ahold of.  She likes to drop the balls to the floor.  Today I watched her eyes track the ball to the floor and I tried to hold her over the toy to see if she would grab it back, but she didn't.  She was holding onto my arm and I think she felt like she would fall to the floor if she let go.

During our first few visits with Aaron, I have tried to give him a hug when they first bring him to us.  He always pushes me away.  Steve's mom picked up on this too when she visited with me.  He is otherwise receptive to any other form of demostrative affection.  He lets me kiss him on the cheek and even mimicked the word "kiss."  It dawned on me as I was laying in bed last night that it is not necessarily because he doesn't want the hug, but that he doesn't know what one is.  I get the feeling that he just thinks I am trying to hold and confine him.  He will learn in time, when he is home with us.....what hugs are all about!  We were doing high-fives today and he understood this.  Eveytime he blew bubbles and popped them all, we did high-fives.  He says a word when he plays with the toys that we have to figure out what he means.  In English it sounds like "maladoy."  We thought it meant toys or cars, but looked those words up and they're not it.  Steve thinks maybe it means "mine."  Anybody know???  We also got to see some more "misbehavior" out of Aaron.  Today we experienced pinching, screaming, spitting and attempting to bite me.  He exhibited these behaviors when he had the tennis ball taken away from him.   One time he accidentally threw the tennis ball at my head (while I was holding Julia) and thought my startled reaction was funny.  I am sure it was!  But then he kept trying to throw it at my head.  When we took the ball away, he tried to pinch our hands.  When this got him no where, he started spitting.  He already knows from a previous visit that we shook our heads in disapproval at his spitting, so he thought he could get our attention this way. 
Then when this got him no where he started screaming.  He finally went onto getting another toy when this failed at getting him what he wanted.  A little later on we gave him the ball back and we motioned for him not to throw it at our heads, so he started throwing the ball at the windows and a mirror.  At first he wasn't throwing it too hard, but as soon as we made it clear that he shouldn't continue throwing it at these two places, he started throwing it harder at the mirror.  So the ball went away again and the screaming commenced.  We pretty simply ignored this behavior and he quit.  He definitely knows how to listen because we notice that whenever a nanny would walk through and say something to him, he became immediately attentive and submissive.  He is just trying to learn where our boundaries are.  All in good time : )  It's just hard when we are only going to have about an hour a day with him for a few weeks.  Much of this learning won't come until he is at our home and relearns appropriate social behavior.....and we know this may take years.   Kacey, Ethan and Regan are hopefully going to be huge assets in this area.....and they will need our guidance in patience, understanding, and definite boundaries!











23 comments:

  1. We are a fellow RR "traveling now" family! I'm not sure if we are in the same city but if so, we would love to meet you guys. My email address is caseyoverstreet@yahoo.com if you would like to send me a private message.
    Casey

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  2. Hi! I just found you through Autumn's blog...I believe that you are at the same orphanage as our little boy is in. We are almost done with our dossier. Would love to email with you- lmaddex@gmail.com

    Thank you!
    -Laurie

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  3. Aaron's "maladoy" sounds like it could be "maladyets" which is what you would use to say "good job" or express approval... It also might be a good word for you guys to use to positively reinforce Aaron's good behavior...

    Love seeing Julia in your arms and Aaron's first words to you made me cry... Praying for you guys!

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  4. I love the videos! Julia and Aaron are both so precious...what sweet personalities they have! We're praying you can bring them home soon!

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  5. Andrea said what I was about to say. Maladyets is what we were told to say to our boys when they were being good boy - not sure if it's gender-specific, I always thought it was good boy. But both times we've adopted, it's been a boy, so maybe that's just my assumption!
    So glad that you're making progress. Baby steps! The fact that you're letting him know NOW that some things won't fly is great. So he doesn't only see you as the fun people who come with toys & food :) And by the way, we had to use the word "MAH-lin-key" (little) A LOT with our younger son when we'd throw the ball!

    Jenn in Georgia
    http://littleboydove.blogspot.com

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  6. I just LOVE Julia's little voice! And Aaron's laugh!

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  7. Maladyets is not gender specific. You can use it with Julia, too!

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  8. Praise God that you are finally holding your precious babies! And thank you so much for sharing this journey with your readers! It warms my heart to see Julia and Aaron finally know what it is like to be held and loved by their mommy and daddy! I just KNOW they are going to thrive to the best of their ability with you guys!

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  9. Yep, "maladyets" means "good job." We heard it a lot at our daughter's orphanage. Mine sounds like "Moi or mya." We had lots of "Eta maya (mayoo)" here when we first came home.
    Our daughter also tested us ALOT at the orphanage. By the end of it, she was driving us a little batty by throwing things, crawling away from us, eating playdoh, etc... but just keep doing what you're doing and setting boundaries. She has calmed down SO much since coming home. Testing limits is VERY normal :)

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  10. I just watched the video of Aaron throwing the ball. Its like a flashback to our daughter a few months ago. Everything was SOOO funny and she was SOOO loud and SOOO overly excited to be with us. You probably are wondering if he'll settle down once home and I think the answer would be yes. He's in a familiar environment and you're super fun so he's super wild :)

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  11. You are so precious w/ Julia! I just love watching you love on her. So sweet!
    Aaron is hilarious! What a ball of fun! (no pun intended)

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  12. "molodoi" means young. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%B4%D0%BE%D0%B9
    Click the audio on this and see if it's what he's saying.

    Really cute. Julia loves those snuggles, doesn't she?!

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  13. Yes..Malydets. My boy didn't use it until we were home and he was saying it to the dogs. I asked a Russian/Ukrainian teacher at his school and she said it meant 'good boy' in a 'cheery' way like 'way to go you amazed me, what a good/smart/wonderful boy'.

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  14. Missing your updates! Hope everything is ok there :o)

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  15. I love that I found your blog! We have a son who is adopted from China. You will treasure the videos that you have of them at this stage! I wish I would have taken more! And to have Aaron speaking Russian on video will be a treasure also! Your family is in our prayers!

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  16. Congrats on your new children - I hope you get a court date soon. Wanted to note, if you have not already heard this, some kids, our own daughter included, in reaction to the internal struggle and change, lash out at the mama with hitting, fighting, spitting, etc. This may be what your son is doing. It takes time to change, but it does change. He also may change faster as our daughter was in foster care and if you are in an orphange the extra attention from parents will do wonders. Speedy travel home and much joy.

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  17. So cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  18. Is Aaron speaking Ukrainian? That last video...oh, my goodness.

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  19. Rejoicing with you during this wonderful time. Thank you for sharing your lives.

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